I'm almost at the end of my creative writing course. Just two more assignments to go. I have tried to keep my main focus of writing as video-gamey as possible but this one goes off on a more dramatic tangent that I really enjoyed producing. The piece scored 79/100 (70/80 for the main piece, 9/20 for the commentary) and the theme for this assignment was 'life writing'. Something about a human being, written from the perspective of a human being, detailing a specific incident or series of incidents. Although my story was very well received by my assessor, my commentary wasn't and significantly let my score down, so it is omitted here. I have, however, included some of the feedback I received.
Alone in class 5C
Alone in class 5c. Break-time. The noise felt like it had gone on forever. I was very proud of my reactions. From the second I heard the glass window smash I was already rolling off my chair and folding my body into a defensive position. Not sure whether it was safe yet to stand or even raise my head I crouched by my desk with my head between my knees, like a counter clerk during a bank raid. I felt the blood drain from my face. It felt numb and bloated and my ears burned. My joints felt hollow as if they would not hold my weight had I the courage to stand. My hands were clasped to stop them shaking. They were cold. I rocked on my feet ever so slightly and felt broken glass grind against broken glass beneath the rubber of my well-worn school shoes.